Is success measured by a trophy or an A on a report card? Is success measured by a raise or a higher paying job opportunity? Is success measured by normalcy and keeping with the status quo?
There are many things with this new generation of adults that I just cannot get behind, even when I am on the cusp of being grouped with them because of my age. Many things. However, one thing that this generation just completely throws out is this very old and toxic way of thinking that success is only measured by what we know and can see and is normal. In it’s place is this celebration of outside the box creativity and success. This is a freedom which this generation wholeheartedly embraces and celebrates, and I now, too, see the benefits here as I look at and raise five very, very different and unique souls.
For decades, different was bad. Different meant you were a weirdo or you were completely unable to be identified with. It meant you were wrong and unsuccessful. Different was made fun of and excluded. Folks who were largely different from the rest of the classroom or family were deemed unable to be helped and maybe even friendless. I remember elementary school and those who were labeled different or weird. I never stopped to think about their strengths or their successes. How did God make them this way for His glory for the good of themselves and others? There was a reason for it. I was just too prideful to stop and consider it.
God makes different. God does it by His design and for His glory. I have learned over the past five years that measuring success by a universal measuring stick is detrimental to people on so many levels. It can ruin the person you are measuring; it can ruin you as the measurer. This seems so elementary, but day in and day out even some of my loved ones are unfairly measured by an instrument that doesn’t even begin to assess their strengths, abilities, and grit.
It’s a real thing that our daughter’s brain is crafted differently than many in her classroom. It’s a real thing that my niece’s is very unique by design too. By looking at their beautiful faces you would never know the difficulties they face upon waking each day. Thoughts are jumbled, sometimes words don’t come out right. Reading is a challenge and absolutely never will NOT be a laborious.
But the success we have been so incredibly blessed to see is extraordinary with these two girls. The craft my niece can create by hand is magical and breathtaking. And the way she learns by listening is infinitely stronger than my ability to learn by listening. To retrieve a number’s name, oftentimes our daughter uses her own technique that I wouldn’t have dreamed up to help her with. God made our brains incredible things to be able to cope with difficulties and disabilities. The creativity is through the roof with these two girls, and to the one measuring success by grades, he would miss it. He would miss the loftiness of their strengths if only he looked at what the world looks at.
One of our sons has struggled with grades and fear about them for over a year. It’s been tough. But the success that he’s attained isn’t quite something you can measure with a grade. The battle he faces is everyday, going to the Lord for strength and grit and bravery to face his fears and never relent on his pursuit of doing his job well with a happy heart. That success isn’t measured by the world’s standards, but we as parents have seen the small steps of victory as he braves each day sometimes better than the last, sometimes taking a step backward. But to walk him through these days has been quite a different journey than we expected, but nothing we would trade for the life lessons we have all learned.
As a mom I feel like there are no successes some days. “I kept the tiny humans alive,” is sometimes all I can say. For me, though, recognizing my weaknesses as a wife, human, friend, believer in Christ, I can see where I need to focus my attention to have success in fighting against my weaknesses, my sin, the evil one, for the glory of the Lord, the good of my family, and the good of my soul. I don’t have a job outside the home that pays any type of monetary gain for anyone to see. But I do have a job of shaping souls, loving my husband, creating a home, being a better, stronger me. This measurement of success is different than the world sees. It may look like nothing to others, but for our family, for me, we are striding, we are grinding, we are advancing for the good of these kiddos, ourselves, and for God’s glory.
How do you measure success? Maybe today you need to throw out that old way of thinking and consider the unique ways God has created you or a loved one or a friend or a co-worker. To be able to come alongside someone and encourage them in their strengths is quite a joy. I have a lot of work to do in this area, so much work that it will never stop as we continue to love on and raise these precious children. But God can give us this strength and grit to continue. You can continue on in it too with His help!
Pull Up a Chair 