Oh the word is a huge portion of my failings. Inconsistent in my training and disciplining of our children. Inconsistent in my time in God’s Word. Inconsistent in eating right and drinking my daily water intake. Inconsistent at even giving our children and myself the medicine, supplements, and vitamins I know we need.
This inconsistency comes with a terrible lack of self-control. I don’t think before I speak most of the time nor do I think before grabbing that drink or food that I was determined to stay away from.
What is my problem?
Some might say it’s because of my “stressful” life, and because my husband and I are caring for five kiddos nine-years-old and younger. I might tell myself it’s because I feel like I need an “out” or a break or a treat, and I just give in to all the things I planned to change in my lifestyle. Maybe it’s because I am a self-identified “emotional eater.”
And then I think of the term my best friend introduced me to many years ago: self care. Taking care of yourself. Not just surviving on left over french fries and yesterday’s grace. But, doing the things you love, taking care of yourself and your health, getting a break or a momma “time out.” Oh, I love time outs!
For sure, yes and completely, we give of ourselves, and we serve, and we deny ourselves daily for the sake of our families for the glory of the Lord. We pour, and we pour, and we pour, and we pour some more. But our hobbies and our lives do not end the day we birth a precious human being. Some days I feel like I have lost myself, like I don’t know what I like anymore. For several years after Brandon’s transplant he was just surviving and not pursuing hunting or working out. But now, he’s determined on all fronts to live out his passions and to do it well.
So what do you love? Sewing, gardening, scrapbooking. Do you want to learn a new trade or hobby? Our children would do well to see us pursuing something while loving and taking care of them as well.
HOW DO WE DO IT ALL? How do we be a wife, momma, friend, daughter, co-worker, lover of our hobby? That’s one question I have yet to figure out. You see, I am still in the excuse-making category. And then Brandon comes home with this truth bomb from his favorite podcast and drops it like it’s real hot:
“Excuses are lies.”
“But, I went to bed late last night, so I can’t get up before the children and get my heart ready for the day.” LIE! “I chose to go to bed late last night and not prepare for the next day.”
“I am in a hurry and will just grab this food or that drink because there are no other choices.” LIE! When we prepare before hand for the crazy schedule ahead, we can do what we need to do to make meals better for us.
“The kids have too much going on for me to have time for this or that.” LIE! They can even come alongside us as we pursue whatever it is that God has given us a passion for.
So, what am I going to do about all of this? Well, I am going to pray and ask God for some real deal self-control in all of these areas. And ask Him for wisdom about what I am to be pursing and how I am to be spending my time.
Some days I feel like a real chicken with my head cut off, not knowing up from down. But God’s grace is much greater than my deficiencies. He hears our prayers, and He answers them in His timing. Get specific in your prayer life. Write down your desires, requests, wants, needs, pleas. Lately, I have been so very overwhelmed at God’s specific answers to prayer. Granted, I prayed for months about many of these “answered” prayers, but wow. I truly believe the Lord gives us desires and prompts us to pray and then does His almighty, amazing thing by answering in His glorious way. Maybe it’s not quite the answer we were hoping for, but God takes care of it perfectly.
Hebrews 4:14-16 “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
The priest would go to God on behalf of the people before Jesus. But now, our Savior, goes to the Father on our behalf. And there, on our knees, in His presence, we “receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
This struggle of inconsistency and lack of self-control, it seems pretty petty in the grand scheme of things. But we sure can still bring it before God and ask Him for help to have success here for His glory. Let’s do this!