Humility and Dependency

“Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!!!” We have all heard it on repeat for days upon days upon days it seems. I definitely feel like I have heard it more in the past couple of weeks than ever before. Probably just an over-exaggeration, but for some reason it just feels that way.

I will have settled in on the couch to watch football or some cooking show, and the request comes from across the house, “Mom! I really need your help.” Or I will have literally gotten elbow deep in cooking when our 6-year-old comes with the knottiest shoe lace knot in shoe history. So, there goes my fast pace of preparing that meal, and I wash my hands and assist that cute kid. Then I am coming down the stairs with a cranky, but rested 2-year-old, and in flies our 4-year-old with that dire, “I can’t live without it” need for me to construct this legit, professional Lego house. Let me just tell you, architecture and creativity aren’t really my strong points.

Today, as I heard that call for my assistance for the 40^th time today, I was thinking about how much we call upon the Lord for His help. Automatically I wonder what God thinks about all of our calls for Him. “Lord! Lord! Lord! Lord!!!!!!! I need You.” He’s the most helpful Being ever. He’s the most called-upon and the most able to help in our times of need. He is well-aware of those facts. And the truth is is that He NEVER grows tired or weary of hearing our pleas and needs. Taking the lead from the book of Psalm, I’ve learned that with every need we ask God to accompany, there is also a place for thanking Him and speaking His praise in the same breath.

Yeah, I need to really be sure I am slowing my roll on getting upset by all of the needs and be thankful for the needy people in my life. And I also need to be sure I am being thankful for the Greatest Helper of all time and all He does, seen and unseen.

And here’s a flip side to this neediness that is just as important to hone in on. Tonight, Brandon tucked in our kiddo who is naturally gifted in all things he attempts. (Side note: who this child is as a person lies not in what Brandon and I have done to make him this way – we are VERY aware that all his giftings are from the Lord and not from us. It’s humbling just to watch this child in his realm.) As Brandon encouraged him to remember Who gave him these talents and strengths, he also encouraged our son to be humble and dependent upon the Lord Who made him this way and Who gives him the strength to work hard.

So so so often I forget to be needy and dependent. Does that even make sense? Like, I am cruising along, making this wife thing, mom thing work on my own. Really? On my own? Just like Brandon reminded our gifted child to stay humble and dependent upon God, I need my own reminder every day. Isn’t it weak to need to rely on another? Doesn’t it show how strong I am not? Doesn’t it say, “Whew, she’s a weak woman to need someone else to help her with this and that?”

“He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8

“The reward of humility and the fear of the Lord
Are riches, honor and life.” Proverbs 22:4

“I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

Dependency. We need to be crying, “Lord! Lord! Lord!!!” Like our children call for us every moment, that also needs to be my cry to the Lord. The weight of His words in the Bible is something we need to carry and to trust. They never waver. They are always true. What the Bible says about me and you is true. We are sinners in need of a dear Savior. What the Bible says about God is true – He loves us, He never leaves us and never forsakes us. He never sleeps and never slumbers. He wants us to walk in humility and dependency upon Him because He is worthy, because He is capable, and because we are truly truly truly weak. Apart from Him we can do nothing. These words are TRUE. In dependency is true freedom and strength, not in ourselves, but in the most fierce and strong One who loves us to the point of death, even death on the cross.

 

Hezekiah’s Faithful, Powerful Prayer

So, I am no Biblical scholar, and I don’t know the histories and the lineages of all the kingdoms and countries of the Old Testament. But, I have been so encouraged and challenged by King Hezekiah’s response to the king of Assyria in the book of Isaiah. Here’s what I know. The king of Assyria sent a messenger to the ruler of the household of King Hezekiah and two other men to literally rebuke the Living God. He mocked their trust in the Lord. He bargained with them and told them not to listen to their king because he could not deliver them from the king of Assyria’s hand. He said do not “make Hezekiah make you trust in the Lord” (Isaiah 36:15) as if their king were trying to brainwash them. King Hezekiah believed that the Assyrians would not take hold of their land, Jerusalem.

So the three men went back and told King Hezekiah all the messenger had said. They all tore their clothes and were distraught. The messengers from Assyria returned again with a letter of rebuke this time. And what King Hezekiah does next is beautiful.

¹⁴ Then Hezekiah took the letter from the hand of the messengers and read it, and he went up to the house of the Lord and spread it out before the Lord.¹⁵ Hezekiah prayed to the Lord saying, ¹⁶ “O Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, who is enthroned above the cherubim, You are the God, You alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth. ¹⁷ Incline Your ear, O Lord, and hear; open Your eyes, O Lord, and see; and listen to all the words of Sennacherib, who sent them to reproach the living God. ¹⁸ Truly, O Lord, the kings of Assyria have devastated all the countries and their lands, ¹⁹ and have cast their gods into the fire, for they were not gods but the work of men’s hands, wood and stone. So they have destroyed them. ²⁰ Now, O Lord our God, deliver us from his hand that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that You alone, Lord, are God.” (Isaiah 37:14-20)

King Hezekiah, though distraught because of the pushing back of the Assyrians and the rebuke of the one true God, holds fast to who he knows God to be and prays in THANKSGIVING in the middle of sorrow, trial, temptation, and affliction. Then God through Isaiah assures King Hezekiah, that because of his faithful prayer, the Assyrians will not take hold of Jerusalem. That is a beautiful answer to prayer, but yes isn’t always God’s answer.

You see, “that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that You alone, Lord, are God” to be the true motivation for an answered prayer is radical and life- and heart-altering. God, help me to overcome this temptation so that all may know that You alone, Lord, are God. Lord, heal me from this disease so that all may know that You alone, Lord, are God. What?! All mixed in there with some powerful thanksgiving and praise of Jesus… that’s how we ought to pray. That’s how I ought to pray always and forever. It removes selfishness and the “I know what I need better than you, God” from the equation.

A dear saint once said the only way to pray with power and conviction is to pray scripture. And laced throughout the Bible are plenty of verses to pray back to God in praise, in thanksgiving, in need, etc. The book of Psalm is a great place to start. Pray the verses to God daily, and you will be praying with power and conviction! I love it because it is cut and dry and filled with power and truth, something we can do on the daily. I heard this phrase years ago, “for Your glory and for our good” and I have held on tight to those words when praying. May this come to pass for my good or this person’s good and all for God’s glory. Let’s all take Hezekiah’s lead and pray with the motivation that God’s name and His renown would be known through the answering of our prayers, whatever the answer may be!

Marriage is never not hard

It’s our 11th wedding anniversary today! I really can’t believe how quickly the years have past by. Most days it feels like we have already lived a lifetime of joys and sorrows. For as long as we have been married (save 2 weeks) we’ve been with children. And we have always known sickness and affliction in our marriage (save 1 month). Like, the weight and thought of death and fear and trials have all always been at our front door. Always. Either we were in the throws of affliction, coming out of the affliction, or looking back on the hardships and tremendous blessings. And today, that looking back is very, very sweet.

Since these afflictions came so fast and so strong, we truly were given no time to wallow in much fear or dread. Yes, we were scared. No, we didn’t know what the end result would be. But, for us, God guides us gently through these hard times and tremendous unknowns. As we walked a transplant, hospital stays, brain surgeries, and two births within the first 2.5 years of our marriage, I learned one thing real, real quick – marriage wasn’t about me. It wasn’t even about what I want, think I want, what I think I need. I could have run scared from ALL OF THIS because I didn’t think God knew what was best for Maggie. But in His kindness, He taught me that He does know best, He has our best interest in mind, and He has His name’s sake as the forefront reason for doing absolutely everything.

It’s been interesting learning this marriage gig, especially within the confines of understanding my selfishness and sinfulness and pride. When I realized marriage was NOT about me and my wants and my comforts, but about another, it was a really hard pill to swallow.  After Brandon battled PNH (bone marrow disorder) and had his transplant which culminated our first two years of our marriage, if he would get the man cold or some sort of sickness, I almost couldn’t handle it. I would get angry about having to care for him and whew, it was hard. But I had to remember this whole thing about marriage being about another, about serving and loving and putting aside myself. Parenting is a very humbling experience. And marriage, almost even more so.

There have been days where thoughts crossed my mind, and I just didn’t know if I could do it anymore. We are so human and struggle still with being kind and patient and loving on the daily. But this marriage picture, it’s not to glorify ourselves or how “strong” we are or how cool we are as people. This marriage has one goal – to point to a great, strong, able-to-overcome-anything Savior.

Ephesians 5:21-33 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

This is a beautiful picture of a marriage that is not just about oneself. This is the goal, the desire of our hearts that our marriages look like this and honor God in the process, putting aside ourselves and serving and loving another. And in return, there is that love from another and even more nearness to the Lord. The foundation and end goal must be firm in our marriages or we will be like the house built on the sand.

Matthew 7:24-27 says, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.”

The winds and the floods and the rain are coming if they haven’t come already. And there will be small storms almost daily. But when that foundation of our marriages are built on the Lord and on not just being disposable and about ourselves, we stand, our marriages and families stand, and we do not give up.

For me, one things for sure: this man and this life is exactly what God had planned for me. I would not sign up for any of these trials again voluntarily, but I would never trade what we have learned about God, about prayer, about the people of God, about loving and serving others and about who God is and why He does what He does. Brandon bears with me so gently and well. I am crazy messy, sometimes a basket case, and chaos sometimes throws me into a tailspin. But when I’m messy, he’s tidying up. When I’m a basket case, he’s calm. And when I’ve had enough of all this daily chaos, he kicks me out of the house for some quiet time.  Days are hard, life is tough, but we stay committed to the Lord, to each other, and to these sweet children God has entrusted us with. Don’t lose heart in your marriages. They are ALL HARD. Each and every marriage is difficult because we are plainly human. But pray, go to the Lord, read His Word, love that spouse and those kids and the Lord will overcome anything for His glory and for our good.

How do we measure success?

Is success measured by a trophy or an A on a report card? Is success measured by a raise or a higher paying job opportunity? Is success measured by normalcy and keeping with the status quo?

There are many things with this new generation of adults that I just cannot get behind, even when I am on the cusp of being grouped with them because of my age. Many things. However, one thing that this generation just completely throws out is this very old and toxic way of thinking that success is only measured by what we know and can see and is normal.  In it’s place is this celebration of outside the box creativity and success. This is a freedom which this generation wholeheartedly embraces and celebrates, and I now, too, see the benefits here as I look at and raise five very, very different and unique souls.

For decades, different was bad. Different meant you were a weirdo or you were completely unable to be identified with. It meant you were wrong and unsuccessful. Different was made fun of and excluded. Folks who were largely different from the rest of the classroom or family were deemed unable to be helped and maybe even friendless. I remember elementary school and those who were labeled different or weird. I never stopped to think about their strengths or their successes. How did God make them this way for His glory for the good of themselves and others? There was a reason for it. I was just too prideful to stop and consider it.

God makes different. God does it by His design and for His glory. I have learned over the past five years that measuring success by a universal measuring stick is detrimental to people on so many levels. It can ruin the person you are measuring; it can ruin you as the measurer. This seems so elementary, but day in and day out even some of my loved ones are unfairly measured by an instrument that doesn’t even begin to assess their strengths, abilities, and grit.

It’s a real thing that our daughter’s brain is crafted differently than many in her classroom. It’s a real thing that my niece’s is very unique by design too. By looking at their beautiful faces you would never know the difficulties they face upon waking each day. Thoughts are jumbled, sometimes words don’t come out right. Reading is a challenge and absolutely never will NOT be a laborious.

But the success we have been so incredibly blessed to see is extraordinary with these two girls. The craft my niece can create by hand is magical and breathtaking. And the way she learns by listening is infinitely stronger than my ability to learn by listening. To retrieve a number’s name, oftentimes our daughter uses her own technique that I wouldn’t have dreamed up to help her with. God made our brains incredible things to be able to cope with difficulties and disabilities. The creativity is through the roof with these two girls, and to the one measuring success by grades, he would miss it. He would miss the loftiness of their strengths if only he looked at what the world looks at.

One of our sons has struggled with grades and fear about them for over a year. It’s been tough. But the success that he’s attained isn’t quite something you can measure with a grade. The battle he faces is everyday, going to the Lord for strength and grit and bravery to face his fears and never relent on his pursuit of doing his job well with a happy heart. That success isn’t measured by the world’s standards, but we as parents have seen the small steps of victory as he braves each day sometimes better than the last, sometimes taking a step backward. But to walk him through these days has been quite a different journey than we expected, but nothing we would trade for the life lessons we have all learned.

As a mom I feel like there are no successes some days. “I kept the tiny humans alive,” is sometimes all I can say. For me, though, recognizing my weaknesses as a wife, human, friend, believer in Christ, I can see where I need to focus my attention to have success in fighting against my weaknesses, my sin, the evil one, for the glory of the Lord, the good of my family, and the good of my soul. I don’t have a job outside the home that pays any type of monetary gain for anyone to see. But I do have a job of shaping souls, loving my husband, creating a home, being a better, stronger me. This measurement of success is different than the world sees. It may look like nothing to others, but for our family, for me, we are striding, we are grinding, we are advancing for the good of these kiddos, ourselves, and for God’s glory.

How do you measure success? Maybe today you need to throw out that old way of thinking and consider the unique ways God has created you or a loved one or a friend or a co-worker. To be able to come alongside someone and encourage them in their strengths is quite a joy. I have a lot of work to do in this area, so much work that it will never stop as we continue to love on and raise these precious children. But God can give us this strength and grit to continue. You can continue on in it too with His help!

 

 

 

 

 

My kids are amazing

There, I said it. These five kids that God made and put into our family are five of the most unique people I have ever met. I can say that confidently because I know that you can say it about your children or nieces and nephews too. And I can say that with all kinds of humility because it feels like many times I had nothing to do with how cool they are.

Yeah, I heard the eye rolls (did you know you can hear those?). Gushy, social media, tiny moment-in-time snapshot of everything is perfect post about my kids. Yeah, well. Here’s this too: they grate at my nerves, push my buttons, drive me batty, make me want to run for the hills (or the closest closet or Starbucks or Target for a moment alone). That’s reality some of the time, let’s get real honest, real quick. But we’re human, and they’re human. And lately I have just been overwhelmed at the opportunity to watch these precious souls transform into little men and a little woman all under God’s watchful care and protection.

There’s this thing called “made in God’s image.” Our kids may look like us, talk like us, think like us, walk and run like us, and dance like us. But they weren’t made in OUR image, their parent’s image. Under it all, we are all created in the image of God, a mirror of who our great Creator and Savior God is. Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

So, an image is a reflection, not the exact personification. Our kids reflect who God is. We reflect who God is. For all the world to see. There is no good in us that is in and of ourselves. If there is but one ounce of good in a human, it is from the Lord.

And then I saw this, and it reminded me that God’s word is true and His creations are unbelievable.

I watched his eyes lock and his head stop. His body moved but his head remained fixed on this man sitting with his back against the building. Our son rounded the corner of the truck, but he wouldn’t take his gaze off the man who sat in his rumpled coat in the shade.

“Momma, do you have $1?” he asked me. I told him to ask his daddy. So he asked him, and Brandon had already spotted the man and somehow knew why our boy was asking for the dollar. This is our son who sometimes I cannot figure out. He doesn’t really wear his emotions on his sleeve like much of the rest of our family. And on this day, I just had to revel in what I saw. This outpouring of God’s love toward another.

I sat in the truck with the door opened while our son walked over to the man and handed him the dollar. He came back and smiled. I told the Lord in that moment that this moment is one of the reasons we must have been taking the trip we were that day. We then proceeded to all go into the store, get some waters and a few bags of gummy worms and head back to the truck. Our boy got in the truck, looked at his water that I gave him, and asked me, “Momma, can I give that man my water?” I looked at our oldest son who had a water, and I told him sure, you can just share your brother’s water.

This small frame got out of the truck, by himself, and walked over and gave that man his cold, fresh water. Let me just tell you that I take no credit for the goodness that came out of that boy that day. I am so proud to call him our son; but He is made in God’s image, an image bearer of our great Savior and Father.

So, I say all of this to say this one thing. We are all different. None of us are the same. We are all messed up, living in chaos and craziness and unpredictable days. And in the middle of this mess, God provides glimpses into Who He is and how He has made us to represent Him in every single facet of our lives, even on your first day of Kindergarten on the way to see family in another state.

I revel in this moment because it made me stop and watch and soak up this little person before me who God has given us but for a time. To watch him independently do this was remarkable, all because he is an image-bearer of our Father. May we see the small moments in time and take it all in. The days are long, but the years are oh so short.

overwhelmed – but God

Changes. Chaos. Community. Crazy crazy children. Culture.

All of this is in constant motion, constant shifting, continual “wow what the heck is going on here.” I don’t have it all together. I hope you know that. I sat in the dining room while my mom sat in the living room. Our oldest struggled with tears to do some flash cards. The baby was up and down on the bench that has been a cause for numerous falls. Our four-year-old had been sent back to my bed multiple times to get over himself. And our 6 and 8 year olds were doing legos and tap dancing respectively. I fought back getting angry over the shear chaos (small VICTORY), but I didn’t extend much compassion on any of these sweet souls. We all survived, and then mom basically kicked me out of the house for a couple of hours of kid-free-ness.

EV-ERY. THING. is constantly changing. Yesterday, I emailed the founder of one of the best dyslexia curriculums asking for some advice with spelling. She asked about our journey and what tutoring system/curriculum we were using, and I had to tell her our daughter was too severely dyslexic for her world-renowned curriculum. All the emotions fled back to exactly where we are and exactly where we are NOT on this journey with dyslexia. I realize these are our children’s stories to tell, but as a momma, I want y’all to know that there are seemingly “impossible” mundanes every family walks daily. This life ain’t easy, and it will never be easy for me or for you.

But.

But God.

But God, He never, ever, ever changes.

 

This song. Our dearest friends have experienced the deepest, quickest change in zipcode and calling recently. Finding a physical place, comfort for their family, even a new sense of self was difficult and very slow. But, though each day seemed to never yield change quickly, the One who never changes, never left them, never changed, never wavered, remained the same. I have learned a lot while walking alongside them, getting to have a front row seat to encourage and love and pray for them and just be with them during this time.

Our mundane is sometimes never this extreme, but in the moment, it certainly feels like it. Having my mind firmly fixed on the unchangeableness of Jesus our Savior really grounds me, keeps me from wavering too far. My mind is prone to wander daily. “I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR.” It’s a beautiful, beautiful old hymn with infinite truth. Though all around us gives way, schedules are insane, children keep growing and changing, our emotions are never the same from day to day, one thing remains:

Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.”

And here He is again:

¹⁴ Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. ¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. ¹⁶ Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:14-16.

Draw near to Him. He loves you. He SHOWED it on the cross. He is the reason we live and breathe.

Acts 17:24-31 “²⁴ The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; ²⁵ nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; ²⁶ and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, ²⁷ that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; ²⁸ for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are His children.’ ²⁹ Being then the children of God, we ought not to think that the Divine Nature is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and thought of man. ³⁰ Therefore having overlooked the times of ignorance, God is now declaring to men that all people everywhere should repent, ³¹ because He has fixed a day in which He will judge the world in righteousness through a Man whom He has appointed, having furnished proof to all men by raising Him from the dead.”

This is the gospel. And I love that it says “since He Himself gives all people life and breath and all things.” Also, that “for in Him we live and move and exist.”

Oh this is Him whom we were created by, created for, created to serve, and created to live for. When we are weak (er day for me), He is Who we ought to rest in and lean on. He never changes. Praise the Lord.

Ebenezer Day

On this month, 8 and 9 years ago, our family walked through the toughest trials we have ever experienced. Death sentences are hard to swallow, and God used them to draw us, our families, our church family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers to Himself.

This precious, tiny, 80-year-old British doctor, a hematologist, sat across from my mother-in-law and Brandon three days after we gave birth to our first son. She told them Brandon’s diagnosis of the rare PNH. She said, “This is basically a death sentence. You are handling it very well.”

Brandon’s mom understood the odds and limitations and medical factors going into this. Brandon and I did not. We were definitely in the dark because of our ignorance. And because of this ignorance, we trodden the path with our eyes off of the odds and numbers. I can’t imagine the agony she walked each day knowing the unbelievable odds Brandon lived with each day.

In July 2009, Brandon received a physical life-saving bone marrow transplant at Vanderbilt Hospital where we lived for three months with Carter B, our 11-month-old and a sweet Caroline in the womb. I remember hearing the helicopter overhead (we were on the very top floor), thinking, “Brandon’s donor is laid up in the hospital overseas recovering from his donation. I can’t wait to find out who he is.” God used this time to transform our hearts and souls understanding of His complete and utter sovereignty over all things, even rare diseases.

A year later, in July 2010, a malformed artery burst inside Carter B’s brain, causing a stroke on his left side. The ICU doctor told me in every case he has seen, children are intibated when things like this happen. Carter B was only hooked up to the heart monitor and blood pressure cuff.

After 10 days at Arkansas Children’s Hospital, we were hours away from being discharged with swelling of the brain, inability to walk, etc. Then God sent in a nurse practitioner who had recently come from Memphis under Dr. Boop. We told her of our appointment with him in the coming days and that we had been on the phone with his nurse practitioner. She told us to wait a little while while she made some phone calls. Not one hour later she came back and said, “Carter is now under Dr. Boop’s care. A helicopter is coming from LeBonheur for him right now. He will fly alone. Just meet him in Memphis.”

Overwhelmed doesn’t describe how we felt. We arrived at LeBonheur on a Monday night. By Thursday morning, CB had his first surgery to remove the clot and vessels. The following Monday, he had his final surgery. We were home by that Thursday. All the while, Brandon’s mom was recovering from a vehicle accident and a broken pelvis, and my mom spent her days with a 3.5 month old Caroline as I brought her milk as often as I could from the hospital. God carried us all through this well. Prayer warriors from near and far lifted this boy and his family up. Praise the Lord that His plans are best.

The word Ebenezer means a reminder of what God has done. Carter has a huge scar on his scalp that we call his ebenezer. He doesn’t love it now, but one day he will be able to tell others about just how God used this ugly scar to save his physical life so he could spend his life telling others about Jesus and his love. Brandon has a larger than normal scar from a failed splenectomy. It was performed to hopefully cure a disease they thought he had. But it didn’t. However, it is an amazing symbol of all that God has done and will do in these men’s lives.

I read 2 Kings 20 earlier this week and was so encouraged. “In those days Hezekiah became mortally ill. And Isaiah the prophet the son of Amoz came to him and said to him, “Thus says the LORD, ‘Set your house in order, for you shall die and not live.'” Then he turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, saying, “Remember now, O LORD, I beseech You, how I have walked before You in truth and with a whole heart and have done what is good in Your sight.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly. Before Isaiah had gone out of the middle court, the word of the LORD came to him, saying, “Return and say to Hezekiah the leader of My people, ‘Thus says the LORD, the God of your father David, “I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears; behold, I will heal you. On the third day you shall go up to the house of the LORD. I will add fifteen years to your life, and I will deliver you and this city from the hand of the king of Assyria; and I will defend this city for My own sake and for My servant David’s sake.”‘””

‭‭2 Kings‬ ‭20:1-6‬ ‭NASB‬‬

I don’t know that “God’s mind was changed” as a result of Hezekiah’s prayer, but Hezekiah was humbled with the knowledge of his physical fate and went straight to his knees before the Father. Humility begins where our strength ends. And for me, that’s every single day! My strength is extremely limited. Trials, sickness, affliction these all come to us to show us one universal truth about ourselves: WE NEED A SAVIOR! That’s it. That’s all. And that is all we need to be sure of in this life is that there is a God and we are not Him and that we really really really need Him. When we humble ourselves, God shows us our need and can fulfill our need with HIMSELF!

Go to Him, the author and perfecter of our faith, your Creator, your Sustainer, the one Who holds the world together by the Word of His power. This God, the Only True God, deserves our praise, respect, whole lives devotion. He walks us through calamity and may or may not deliver us from it. It’s not the deliverance that makes God our God. It’s His sovereign control over all things that makes Him our great God.

Pride – it’s a silent, abrupt downfall

You know where you can find pride? I’m not talking about the “I’m proud of you” pride. I am talking about the kind of pride that thinks way too lofty about myself, the kind of pride that elevates myself onto a pedal stool I wasn’t ever made for, the kind of pride that boasts in myself above others, the kind of pride that is critical of others but not of myself.

Where can we find pride? I found it today in a false sense of humility, in a patting myself on the back for being low-maintenance and easy going. I have been very prideful about a gift God has given me, and that pride, and let’s call it what it is, that SIN came back and bit me right where it needed to.

God’s Word says in Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before stumbling.” Well, I am here to say that the Bible is dead-on true and right about the heart of man, MY HEART, my flesh, my ugly sin. Today, stumbling came because of my haughty spirit. Today, destruction came after pride had been lived in and loved for a long time. What was destroyed today was my sin and my lofty view of myself. Praise the Lord for this insanely gracious husband. That’s really all I need to say about that.

I continued for hours after my blow up at my husband thinking about the phrase “don’t think more highly of yourself than you ought.” I knew it was in the Bible somewhere – just so thankful for that handy, dandy concordance in the back of my Bible.

Romans 12:1-3 says

“Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. ² And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

³ For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.”

I was so busy being critical of someone that I didn’t see the pride in my heart about my own self. I was way too busy thinking so highly of myself and my demeanor than I should have. Then good ole Paul writes in the second part of verse 3 that every good gift we have is purely a gift from God. Our gifts are gifts to us. Did I give myself a gift for my birthday? No way. So, I know that a gift is outside of myself and fully given by another. We didn’t do anything to acquire anything good in us. So how can I be boastful about a gift from God ANYWAY?

Since I am a new creation in Jesus, why do I still have dumb sin to fight? Well, I don’t really understand it either, but there is still this battle with sin and temptation that we must grapple with daily until we meet Jesus in eternity when all things will be right again, free from sin and death. That’s why Jesus came and sacrificed Himself for us, so that we could be given right standing with God and have eternity with God. Because left to myself, I can’t get right.

My name tag says “CAN’T GET RIGHT.”

Literally, I cannot, apart from any good gift that God gives me, do anything that pleases Him. I must fight against my sin and the temptation I face to choose Him, to choose to love, to choose to use that good sense He has given me, and to lean so heavy into Jesus and His word. And to give others and myself some grace. I am a recipient of His divine grace, therefore I can extend it freely. What a sweet truth.

May this be a continual prayer of mine:

Wicked ways can be masked by “goodness” or “better than the next person.” Our standard, our measuring stick is not other people, other believers, our pastors, our family, our friends. Our standard and our measuring stick that we measure ourselves up against is Jesus, the perfect, holy, spotless Son of God. Not others and not even others who love Jesus. Whew! I must pray Psalm 139:23-24 on the daily. Because sin wants to creep in and camp out. May we be repenting repenters, daily, often. Looking inward, asking forgiveness, fighting sin until we meet Jesus face to face.

“Whatever Comes”

It’s always been the same. I remember driving my old hand-me-down Cutlass Supreme Convertible in high school with the music at its loudest, all alone. And I liked it that way. Getting in my car, rolling down my windows, and turning up my favorite music, it was my way to debrief, wind down, get my thoughts together.

In college, I had this adorable yellow Volkswagen beetle whose air conditioner went “ka-put” within 6 months of mom and I getting it. And I never had it fixed during the four years I drove it, so my windows remained down for four years unless it was sub-40 degrees or storming! I got in that car and rode the backroads of south Arkansas over and over and over. The scene remained the same: it was me and my music.

I love people. I really do. I mean, I live with 6 people 24/7, so that’s a good thing! They energize me and deflate me too. Many of my friends wind down with surrounding themselves with more people. But for me, I need silence, pen and paper, or really, really good music all by myself. All three are just bliss to me!

I got some silence in the car yesterday for about 30 minutes. And I scrolled over to one of my favorite groups, Rend Collective. Their ability, by God’s grace, to put notes and Scripture together is just truly a gift. The song that my handy-dandy shuffle gave me yesterday was “Whatever Comes.” (Listen to the song above). Here are the lyrics:

“Lord, whatever comes
Make me steadfast, make me rooted
A cedar planted firm, deeply grounded in Your goodness
Whatever comes

Lord, whatever comes
Be my bedrock, keep me steady
Loyal to Your throne, whatever stands against me
Whatever comes

Be my bravery when I am trembling
Be my courage when my heart is caving in
Be the fireside when I am wandering
Be my Father, whatever comes

Lord, whatever comes
Be my soul, be strong as iron
Bending only when, when I kneel before the “I Am”
Whatever comes

Be my bravery when I am trembling
Be my courage when my heart is caving in
Be the fireside when I am wandering
Be my Father, whatever comes

Whatever comes”

The writer or writers of this song stay true to what the Bible says about us and what it says about our great God. I am a wanderer. Things get tough and bad and spinning out of control, and I want to respond exactly the same as my circumstances – crazy, awful and out of control.

But these lyrics, what a prayer.

Whatever comes, Lord make me firm, make me as strong as this tree who doesn’t waver or fall or crack in the storm. Help me to be deeply rooted in who You are God. Help me to be loyal to You no matter who stands against me, no matter what comes. Be everything I can’t be in the midst of the wild and crazy things each day brings.

And my favorite verse: “Lord, whatever comes, be my soul, be strong as iron, bending ONLY when, when I kneel before the I AM.”

All of this song, all of this prayer is fulfilled in Jesus. Jesus never wavered, never wandered from dependence on His perfect Father. And that’s exactly the posture we desire and should desire as God’s children. May our souls never move when our circumstances give way, but may our souls bend as we kneel before the throne of God, in humility and dependence.

I had such a sweet time alone with the Lord and this song. Then it was time to go to that late evening ball game. And my precious daughter forgot her shoes, and we were about 2 miles down the road. “Lord, whatever comes.” “Keep me steady.”

The “whatever comes” for me these days aren’t huge, life-altering events as they has been in our past. That “whatever comes” for our family is the mundane, the day in and day out pursuit of victories with self-control and dependence on the Father for all things. I had to slow my roll, calm my crazy self down and turn that car around and go get the shoes for this pretty little girl. I told her I was sorry for getting a little fired up and asked for her forgiveness.

The “whatever comes” may be mundane for you; it may be earth-shattering news or life-altering circumstances that you live with without relief. But you know Who sees it all? Who holds you through it all? Who loves you enough to walk you through it and help you depend on Him? The I AM, the One who created all things. Here is our Jesus and what all is under His control:

Colossians 1:15-23

^“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.¹⁶ For by himall things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.  And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.And He is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything He might be preeminent.For in Him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell,and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of His cross.

And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds,  He has now reconciled in His body of flesh by His death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before Him,if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard,which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister.” (Italics and bold mine)

ALL THINGS were created through Jesus and for Jesus. If all things, including our mundane and life-altering circumstances, were made through Jesus, what an amazingly awesome conduit through which the things we walk through were made. I will take whatever is made through Jesus. And if it’s FOR Jesus, for His glory, for His praise, for others to see Him and get to know Him by whatever it is I am walking through, yes, Lord, I will walk through it.

I love these verses from Colossians and these verses from “Whatever Comes.” I hope you love them too and find the comfort and peace from the Lord all up in them!

Get excited – you were made in God’s image

I was swinging that little 17 month old of ours outside one day last week and some interesting things came to my mind. You know how we have some great things about us and some not so great things about us? And you know how when we look at others we sometimes just see and focus on the negative and not the really great, positive things about them?

It’s pretty disheartening that we, that I, focus on the awful, different-from-us struggles, sins, and downfalls of others rather than the actually pretty cool, unique giftings of our friends, family, and acquaintances. We are really losing here when we do this and missing the whole point of HOW we were truly made.

So, here’s the real truth of the matter:

^“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’ So God created man in His own image,in the image of God He created him;male and female He created them.” Genesis 1:26-27

One huge note here is that in verse 26, God said, “let us make man in OUR image, after OUR likeness.” Who is He talking about? God in three persons – the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. That’s whose image we are made in. The wholeness that embodies God our Father,  the humanity and uniqueness that Jesus possesses, and the vast fruits the Holy Spirit has… in all of this we were made.

Okay, wow. I think about my dearest friend who is so brilliant at creating things with her hands and so real about the right ways to love people the way Jesus does. And her husband who dreams up and catches a vision for anything, from creating a business to ways to evangelize different people groups and is so successful at many things he touches.

All of that, ALL of that points directly to who our God is. Just like the gifts my friends exemplify, God is creative and a seeker of man’s soul for salvation. God is the epitome of vision casting and vision accomplishing. When I see my friends natural gifts, I get a real, tangible picture of who our great Creator God is, who our precious Savior is, and who our Holy Spirit is.

Do you see what I am getting at? My mother is unbelievably gifted at serving others while pushing aside her needs. My mother-in-law is a true gift-giver, with this incredible knack of finding a great deal. These are God-given gifts, and they are visuals for the world’s eye to see just who our Great God is. Jesus laid down His life, while accomplishing eternal life for us. And God the Father gives us every good and perfect gift. He is prudent, planning for the future, just like the gift my mother-in-law possesses.

What about you? What about your neighbor? What about a co-worker? We have people in our lives who are difficult to understand, hard to work with. Goodness gracious alive, I am hard to understand and hard to work with, but even when I don’t think I have any good in me, I have to remember that I am made in God’s image. He made each of us with special, unique gifts that are from Him and that clearly point to who He is as our God.

Psalm 16:2 says, “I say to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord;I have no good apart from you.'” Nothing good in us is our own doing, our own gumption, our own passions alone. Everything you see that is good in others, it’s from God. Sure they may have worked hard for this or that, but God gave them the energy, the giftings, the desire to accomplish the goal.

Every person is made in God’s image. And He’s perfect. I am letting that sit on me for a minute. I do not deny our sinfulness. But this post isn’t to focus on that right now. I am overwhelmed as I look around me, at our children, our family, our friends, the people we see every day. God is so kind to show us who He is by the way He has made us and those in our lives and those in the whole wide world.

The God-shaped lens I ought to look through to see others is pretty magnificent. May I use it more every day to rejoice with others the gifts He has given them and to walk in thankfulness and praise for who the God we serve truly is.